Sunday, June 26, 2011

Friday, June 10, 2011

BRs Report

   So, I decided not to write a tourney report for le first day of Battle Roads, ‘cause I went 2-2 and that’s no good.  Saturday did have highlights, however, such as meeting out friend Malcom who works at Burger King.  But, I did good Sunday.  So, we started off by sleeping over at Pill’s house, me, Noah, Anson, and Pill.  Pill is Noah’s friend, and Saturday was the first day I met him.  He’s a cool kid, and our night was spent building decks and playing 20 questions.
   I played Kingdra/Jumpluff, because I’ve spent my time since States perfecting my list.  And I’m addicted to Jumpluff, dammit.  Jumpluff is fuckin’ terrible HGSS-on, so this was my last chance.  I only made two changes from Saturday to Sunday: adding in Froslass and Roserade GL.  The ride to Peralta was lulzy, being pretty long and cramped. 
   “Hey, 6D, what the fuck is Peralta?”
   Well, it’s this sick town a bit south of Albuquerque (“Hey, 6D, what the fuck is Albuquerque?”), and it consists of essentially some farms, a shitty dollar store, and Raven’s Hollow Games.  We registered early and had plenny of time to derp around testing and trading.  The tourney was three rounds, cutting the top two.

Round One: vs. ReshiBoar
   This was a sick game.  I knew he was playing ReshiBoar because he was playing the same thing yesterday and I saw his cards as he was shuffling.  I was pretty worried, because I have a bad match-up against basically any Fire deck, due to Jumpluff’s weakness and the effect of Dragon Steam.  I played pretty bad, kinda fuckin’ around early game to mess with his set-up.  That ended up as a bad move, because he got set-up nonetheless.  We traded a couple prizes until it was 3-2, his lead.
   At this point, we ran out of time and were forced into Plus Three.  He had nothing to do and passed, so it would go me, him, me.  He had some damaged Reshirams out (one belted), an Emboar, and a Nintales.  Now, I played really, really, well.  I used Froslass to drag up the belted Reshiram on his bench that had no energy, and then retreated out to Roserade.  I timed my Poison Binds so that he died after his turn and I could take the last prize and win 2-0.
   He turned out to be a cool kid, and we talked a bit after the match.  I wish I could remember his name…

Round Two: vs. BlazeGar
   Now I was playing Pill.  He was running this pretty slick Blaziken FB/Gengar SF build that Anson had built him, and he used it to beat Anson in Round One.  Our match was kinda uneventful, we were tied at three prizes after he hit a Fainting Spell on a belted Jumpluff.  After that, though, he couldn’t get much out, and I used a good Poison Bind to avoid a second Fainting Spell.  I lock up a Crobat with Roserade for the last prize and win, 2-0.

Round Three: vs. LuxChomp
   Yay, now I get to play Noah.  Playing two friends in a row, it’s just the best.  Now, I rarely play against LuxChomp, usually I’m not doing well enough in the tournament to play the higher-tiered decks, and I hate playing SP so I don’t usually test against it.
   If I win this, I get Top Cut.  If not, Top Cut will be Noah and Anson.  I got a terrible lone Hoppip start, but I go first and set-up pretty well (despite a five card Set-Up being Sprayed) to avoid the donk.  He sets up too, and we trade a couple prizes.  However, I slowed him with Mesprit’s Psychic Bind, and I used that to avoid some Bright Looks and Healing Breathes that would have been crucial.  I don’t remember much of the game, we both made pretty standard plays.  We did well, but I got the 2-0 win.

Top Cut: Game One
   Nice, 3-0.  This leaves me as the only undefeated dude in the tourney, so I obviously make Top.  So, now me and Noah play in Top.  It was kinda lame that we had to play three games in a row, but whatever.  It was pretty similar to the Swiss game, neither of us had particularly great starts, but we nonetheless got a decent set up going by T2.  I did, however, get  rolling better than he did in the early game, due to some good Mesprit use (and him not getting any Power Sprays).  We traded a few prizes, but I was able to make a good late game play to bring up Crobat G and Poison Bind it for the last prize.

Top Cut: Game Two
   Unfortunately, this game wasn’t too much fun.  We were both kind of bored by this point, and the game wasn’t particularly close.  I don’t even remember that much of it, just “Mass Attack for KO.”  I believe I pulled out the game 3-0 as I gazed in anticipation at the Victory Medal.

So, yeah, I had a good day.  Not great, but who the hell cares when you win?

-Weird, last-minute SP techs
-Getting Samurotts (gots to prepare for next format, ya dig?)
-Cool decks
-Eric Roybal
-Eric Roybal
-Eric Roybal

-Lame fucking games in Top
-Playing Noah three times in a row
-Anson and Pill doing less than glorious
-Leaving my binder at the tourney

   Oh yeah, I'm in Hawaii now.  So if updates come slower, that's why.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

How Will Smith got Even Better

   Around yesterday, Will Smith was chosen.  He woke up one day in his Miami Beach/Los Angeles/Stockholm mansion to a familiar face: that of Morgan Freeman.  It took but a second for him to realize it was not Freeman himself, but God in Freeman's guise.
   "What up, God?" asked Will casually.  "Why you lookin' like Morgan Freeman, just 'cuz I'm black?"  He laughed.
   Morgan Freeman's always-soothing voice sounded, "Actually, Will, that's why I'm here. It has been decided that you no longer are."
   Will looked at Freeman, who was still smiling.  "What... what do you mean, God?" he stammered.  "What... I just... what? I've been black my whole life... how can something like that just change?"
   Freeman chuckled and patted Will on the shoulder, reassuring him.  "Don't misunderstand, Will. This is a good thing! No longer are you bound by the limits of race. Though it may take humans awhile to understand, you have transcended blackness. It was decided."
   "By who?"
   "The Council."  God snapped his fingers and three more figures materialized in Will's bedroom: Shaquille O'Neal, Pokemon player Joshua Henry, and Malcom the Burger King employee.  They took turns speaking.
   "Hey, Will, I know you must be busy," started Shaq, "but maybe if you're free one day you can come down to Peralta and we can play a game of one-on-one. Not that I expect to win or anything."
   Joshua was next.  "And hey, while you're there, you may as well trot over to Albuquerque so we can playtest. I dunno if you heard, but the next format is HGSS-on. The Chandelure from Red Collection is the nect BDIF."
   Malcom coughed before his turn.  "Hey Will," he began, "I'm sorry we got rid of the Buck Double, I know you liked it. We're bringing it back just for you, and here's a coupon that will let yu get them free. All day, Erryday."
   "Thanks for the offers," said Will, "but I'm already working on my next film. And also album."  He continued, "Actually, my kids'll be up soon and I gotta start the strenuous workout that I do everyday."
   But as the foursome of great black men started to leave, Will stopped them.  "Am... I the only one?" he asked God.
   God smiled and Freeman's wonderful voice boomed, "Oh, no. Bill Cosby, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Stevie Wonder, the list goes on. We're considering Li'l Wayne for next year, but we don't want him to stop using 'nigga' in his songs."